Walking On Ashes
by DearSweetPapercut
Summary: "Like she had done as a child- Sara emptied her mind letting it wander to memories and places that let her escape- and a time when Greg hadn't become everything he promised he would never be." warning: contains domestic violence
1. Chapter 1

So I wanted to write something different- I'm so use to writing Greg as the good guy and I thought you know what let's give this a go.

Huge shout out to Charlie for all of the help getting this written.

Warning: Contains alcoholism, physical/verbal abuse

Please review- let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: I own zilch

**Walking On Ashes**

**(One) **

The darkness seemed to consume her as she brought her knees to her chest sitting in the centre of the bed her eye focused on the beam of light drifting from the crack in the door to the foot of the bed. It was a night like any other. She had been restlessly waiting for his entrance, the fireworks, and the frustrations as he staggered through the front door but now the noise filled her ears she wanted for it all to impede.

"Sara" It was the sound of her own name being called from the hallway that sent a shiver down her spine. Greg's voice came out in a slur as the sound of him stumbling at the bottom the stairs travelled to her.

"I'm coming" She replied realising that perhaps the best thing she could do was to meet his drunken demands; it had become second nature to follow his instructions. Sara recognised that his temperament wouldn't allow for rational thinking and her resistance would only add fuel to the fire forcing his hand into an onslaught of castigation.

Sara made her way down the stairs nervously pulling on the pyjama top as she approached the ground floor of their house. Greg laid in a heap by the front door a dazed smile on his lips as he stared aimlessly into the distance. The deep purple of the bruise beneath his right eye stood out against his skin, the grazes across the cheek and the blood dripping slowly from his lip speaking of where he had been that night.

"You should see the other guy..." He gloated forcing the words into the air. Sara rushed to him her heart leaping into her throat as she tried to pull him to his feet. With a small amount of resistance Greg let her help him to the kitchen, his exhausted body leaning against the sink as she soothed the grazes with a damp cloth removing small bits of gravel as she went.

"What have you done to yourself...?" She muttered under her breath but it was loud enough for Greg to hear his mood visibly shifting. She tried to avoid the storm brewing in his eyes, the vicious glare he now wore burned into her skin until she felt herself physically flinching from it.

"You think I did this to myself?" he spat, his eyes never leaving her.

She withdrew her hand, the blood soaked cloth suddenly feeling incredibly heavy. She had been here before, on the receiving end of a tirade for saying the wrong thing. She wondered if she would ever learn the art of keeping quiet and disappearing into the shadow's when he was like this.

"That's not what I meant Greg I..." She mumbled attempting to sooth him realising that her words were being wasted.

"Then what did you mean?" He growled at her demanding to know. She studied his eyes, hers pleading for a sign that deep down he was still the man she was so desperately in love with.

"I...I just...It did mean anything..." Sara tired to turn away by his hand had found her jaw forcing her to look at him. At the blood and bruising his features had endured.

She involuntarily took a step back, the alcohol on his breath churning her stomach and the anger radiating from him overwhelming her. The fear in her eyes went unnoticed but her retreat did not. Within second's he closed the space between them, backing her up against the counter with no means of escape.

"What did you mean Sara?" he hissed, his nose almost touching her cheek as he moved her about with ease. The sweat beading on his brow mingled with the blood, streaking down his face like raindrops on a window. She tried to focus on them; on the path they took rather than see the hatred in his eyes. She couldn't bear to see him like this.

With one single movement he had her pinned against the counter, her head colliding with the open door and rattling against it violently. For a second she was dazed and unsure what had happened, a warm bead of moisture slid down from her temple and even without the bright red staining on her fingers she knew it was blood.

"This is your fault" he muttered indicating to her head, the anger seemingly seeping out of his body as exhaustion took over.

She nodded, words forming in her throat but falling silent on her lips as she stood there awaiting her fate but he didn't move. He didn't strike, he didn't shout, he didn't throw her around like she expected. He didn't even move away from her it was like he was frozen there.

"Greg...?" she questioned quietly, hoping she was doing the right thing.

His eyes opened slowly, a frown furrowing his brow as he looked at her. Without a word she went back to cleaning his wounds, pressing the cloth against his head as tenderly as she could. Greg seemed to completely still, not moving an inch as Sara finished cleaning him up.

"Let's get you bed..." She smiled softly moving towards him her body stiffing as she did so, deep down scared he would lash out at her. But nothing happened. Greg simply just moved in the direction she guided him in his expression blank.

They made their way up stairs in silence barely looking at each other not wanting to confront the emotions that the night had stirred. He sat down on the edge of the bed staring at the wall in front of him. Sara carefully undressed him placing his bloodied clothes aside to be washed separately, placing the blanket over him. His eyes were closed within seconds his body giving into the tiredness.

Sara crept to the bathroom switching on the bright light illuminating the space; standing before the mirror she examined the cut on her head. The blood had dried but as she cleaned it away it became clear that the corner of the cupboard door had left a deep impression.

She could feel her hands shake as she ran the cloth in her hand under the water watching the diluted blood disappear down the drain. Turning the taps off, she glanced at herself in the mirror again her heart pounding in her chest as she took in the fine details of her reflection.

The feelings that had flooded her body that night were not new. They had been forced upon her before by someone other than Greg. And as Sara studied herself she realised that she had promised herself that she would never feel this way again. She could imagine with such detail the smell of whiskey on her father's breath, the feeling of his hands gripping hold of her and the hatred in his eyes as he punished her for something she did not understand.

Greg had looked at her that way; his brown eyes would darken and narrow as his mind created a supernova of destruction.

Sara could almost remember every one of the words that had been hurled at her as she lay curled up in a ball hoping that her father would forget her existence. The darkness that surrounded her as the shadows hide her body for an escape remained like dark clouds in the present.

The way Greg had imposed himself upon her forced her chest to constrict as the feeling of suffocation filled her airways; the way he had towered over her pressing his body firmly against hers silently speaking of the control he could obtain by lifting a hand to her.

What had happened to her will to fight? Sara thought taking a deep breath as she tried to stop herself from trembling. All of these years she had spent trying not become her mother seemed to disappear into a haze. Greg had broken down her barriers, and she had trusted him with everything she had been afraid to give any other man.

But after all of this time- she was scared.

She was scared of losing the man he was when alcohol didn't cloud his judgement and tense his fists. She was scared that by walking away she would be leaving him when he needed her the most.

He hadn't become this way overnight, life didn't beat you down with one punch. It wore down on you over a period of time and Greg was succumbing to the burdens of life as a CSI. She had seen it many times before. Stronger men than him had been broken by the system and by the injustice. Guilt turned a knot in her stomach when she thought about all the signs he had displayed before he was buried at the end of this path. She should have noticed him slipping; she should have been there to pull him back before it was too late. Now she was left wondering if she was still strong enough to do that.

With a heavy heart Sara made her way to their bedroom watching as he slept soundly oblivious to her worries and anxieties.

As she lay down beside him she recalled how tender he had been with her at the start of their relationship; how his hands would dance across her body in wonderment and how his eyes had washed over her body in adoration. Now that same touch would ignite fear, those same eyes would make her flinch.

Sara turned away from him closing her eyes waiting for sleep to wash over her but her thoughts were haunted by memories of her past, of all of those yeas she had thought she had left behind. Every so often Greg would stir besides her, her heart stopping in her chest as she worried he wake from a nightmare with more anger than before.

The morning light flooded the room after a restless night waking Sara from the slumber her exhausted body had fallen into only a few hours before. She silently pulled herself up climbing out of bed with painful awareness that Greg was still asleep.

She went about her morning routine being careful not to step on the creaky floor boards or make too much noise. The sound of Greg making his way down the stairs caused her breath to hitch slightly but Sara tried her best to ignore it as she continued making breakfast.

"Morning..." He groaned wrapping his arms around her; Sara couldn't help it- she winced at his touch. Greg let go noticing her awkward stance feeling a lump build up in his throat as he stepped away standing besides her leaning against the counter.

"So it was a rough night..." He said attempting to break the silence as Sara leant over the stove stirring porridge.

"Uh-huh" She replied quietly. Greg reached out brushing her hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. The cut on her head stood out deep scarlet against the pale skin and she could feel his hand tremble as he pulled away.

"What happened?" He asked looking away to the floor as he prepared himself to hear of the horrors of his behaviour.

"Nothing..." Sara cleared her throat. "Nothing... I walked into an open cupboard door by accident..."

Greg could feel the entire world slow down as he studied her. She kept her eyes focussed on her hands, her breath quivered on her lips and she kept a marked distance between them. His head was pounding, the room was spinning and there was a horrific taste in his mouth but all he could focus on was the mark charring Sara's skin until it was burned into his consciousness.

His memories of the previous night had been washed away with his leftover alcohol as he hunched over the toilet in the early hours. He should have known then when he saw her body stiffen and react to his movements, he should have sensed her fear but his body had wanted nothing more than to collapse back on the bed.

"Sara... is that what really happened?" he muttered quietly, cupping her chin gently in his hand forcing her eyes to meet his. He saw truth in them that he didn't want to see, he saw a burden he didn't want to cause.

"Of course" she whispered with a nervous nod before quickly averting her eyes.

He had done this to her.

The realisation felt heavy in his gut, weighing down his entire body and stealing all the breath from his lungs and even worse than that; she was already lying for him.

He had already turned into the person he always swore he'd never be to her.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you all for the feedback so far- please keep your reviews coming if you'd like to read more (or even if you don't!)

**Walking on Ashes**

**(Two) **

"I...I called Catherine...told her you weren't feeling well... I'm going to cover your shift..." Sara informed him spooning porridge into two bowls for them.

"You didn't have to do that..." He shook his head sitting down at the kitchen table. "It's my fault I got drunk yesterday..."

"It's okay...I just wanted to help" She smiled softly at him, pushing a bowl towards him as she sat down.

Rain pattered against the window as they sat in silence the atmosphere heavy between them as they ate. Every so often Greg would find himself thinking about the things he wanted to say to Sara but still the words would not appear. From the distant look in her eyes he acknowledged that she was pretending that last night had not happened.

"I'm going to go...are you going to be okay?" Sara asked nervously hovering by her chair.

"I'm going to be fine..." Greg nodded frowning slightly as he glanced around. "Go..."

With a small nod Sara disappeared leaving him alone in the kitchen, the sound of the front door slamming letting him know that he was completely alone. Not being able to stop himself Greg knocked the bowl in front of him off the table watching as it collided with the wall the content spilling and the china smashing. He could feel his blood coursing through his veins as he put his head in his hands all of the frustration and anger at the forefront of his mind.

He was going to make things better- he had to- because if he didn't he was going to lose Sara. And after all of this time he didn't want to be the one to push her away, to hurt her. With an exhausted sigh Greg pulled himself to his feet picking up the small shards of china from the floor.

From his place on the floor Greg could not see Sara standing at the end of the hall watching him; she had forgotten her keys coming back into the house to see him smash the bowl. The look that had shadowed his features haunted her as she silently left the house again carefully closing the door behind her; he looked broken, defeated. As much as Sara wanted to rush to his side, to tell him that things were going to be okay she knew she couldn't as her attempts to sooth him did little to help.

As Sara drove through the city streets her grip on the steering wheel became increasingly tight as her thoughts and memories became a blur against the sunlight. The sound of the glass breaking seemed to play through her mind again- it was as if she were seven again crawling under the dining room table hoping to avoid an onslaught of abuse the broken glass digging into her palms and shins. She had watched the shadows of her parents fighting across the wall curling up into the smallest thing she could be wishing to disappear.

Sara pulled into the Las Vegas Crime Lab parking lot attempting to push her thoughts into aside and prepare for the day ahead.

Sara strode through the brightly lit corridors in a daze. She was on autopilot, people breezing past her in a blur without her acknowledgement. Heading straight for the locker room she dipped inside the darkened little sanctuary with a sigh, desperately telling herself to regain control. She shrugged the jacket from her shoulders; the thudding feeling in her head hadn't stopped. If anything moving around and thinking so much was only amplifying it but she had needed the distraction.

"Don't get comfortable, we got a DB in Henderson" Brass declared from the doorway, making her force her eyes open to regard him.

"Already?" She sighed, her hopes of an easy shift quickly disappearing. He waited of her as she grabbed her gun and holster from her locker- it was once Sara had stepped back into the light that he could see the wound clearly.

"That looks like a nasty cut...what happened?" He said asked attempting to be casual however information about Greg's drinking had spread through the lab.

"I just wasn't looking where I was going... picked a fight with the wrong door." Sara attempted to maintain the same casual tone. Brass glanced at her as she walked noticing the way she refused to meet his eye.

Sara could tell Brass didn't believe her. He always had a knack for seeing right through her attempts at masking her hurt. They spent the entire case in near silence, his eyes casting over her suspiciously every few minutes as though he was reading her. It made her nervous, almost more nervous than she felt about going home. The case wrapped up relatively quickly meaning that they actually got to leave the lab on time. Her entire body felt exhausted when she made it to her car, eyeing the horizon she saw dark clouds forming angrily in the skies and hoped it wasn't an omen.

Just as she was about to slip into the driver seat a hand clasped the door from behind her making her jump and draw a breath quickly. Brass frowned, eyeing her with the same concerned expression she had been avoiding all day.

"You need anything... anything at all you know you can call me right?" He told her in a low voice.

Sara met his eye for a moment attempting to convey every one of her conflicting emotions without words. He seemed to understand somehow and she nodded meekly before taking her seat and fixing her vision on the steering wheel as he disappeared across the parking lot.

Sara threw her bag down by the door, shrugging off her jacket prepared to sink into the comfort of the sofa but as she looked up she saw Greg nervously standing waiting for her his hands clasped behind his back.

"I made dinner..." He smiled indicating to the kitchen. For the first time since coming home Sara noticed the sound of soft music playing in the background and the smell of the vanilla candles.

"Thank you..." She smiled softly approaching him feeling a wave of relief washing over her knowing that tonight she was going to be spending time with the man she knew, the man she had fallen in love with. With a small kiss pressed on her lips Greg led her to the kitchen, the table covered by a satin red cloth, the room bathed in a glow.

"How was your day?" Greg asked pulling the chair out for her waiting for Sara to sit down. He had spent his whole day preparing for this evening; tidying the house, finding the recipe and the small things to decorate.

"It was good...the case wrapped up quickly." She replied watching as he poured her a glass of wine not being able to deny the anxiety she felt from the smell of the alcohol.

"That's good... Thank you for covering my shift..." He said again. Sara simply just nodded letting herself settle into the atmosphere.

"It's okay...How was your day?" She asked watching nervously as Greg poured himself a glass of wine too.

"Not bad...I tidied... I'm officially cut out to be a housewife..." He pointed out carefully placing butternut squash in the middle of the table.

"That's good to know..." Sara laughed taking a sip of her wine as Greg served her.

"I popped down the wine store earlier, and the guy said that Riesling would go best with this meal" He pointed to the bottle on the table.

"You bought wine?" She raised her eyebrows at him cautiously not wanting to dampen the mood.

"Yeah...I thought special meal...might as well put the effort in and not go for the half bottle of merlot we had lying around" sensing her uneasiness about the alcohol.

"I see...this is nice..." Sara indicated to the table and the effort Greg had put in. It all had reminded her of the time when they had first started dating, all of the small things he had done just to make her smile.

"I'm glad you like it..." He smiled brightly at her taking a sip of his wine, digging his fork into his food. "I just wanted to treat you"

"Thank you, I missed this..."

"Me too... I know I haven't been myself... And I'm sorry for that" He began talking wanting to say sorry for all of the things that he had done in the past few weeks.

"Don't... don't apologise. It's ok, I understand" Sara tried to brush him off realising that she couldn't listen to these apologies knowing that things hadn't yet improved- that they had not made any steps forwards.

"Sara I love you..." Greg paused taking another sip of his wine, nervously placing it back down on the table. "And I...I..."

"I know you do. I know..." Sara spoke her eye focused on the table rather than the man beside her; he gently brushed his fingers across her hand.

Her eyes immediately fixated on his hand, his touches seemed to burn and intimidate her. Greg was closing the space between them, the smell of wine from his breath infecting her. She had always had a low tolerance for the smell of alcohol, in the past it had boiled her blood but now she simply felt herself retreating to that place in her mind where she was safe.

The heat from his body closed in around her, suffocating her with its intensity as he met her lips with his own. His kiss was gentle, filled with all the emotion he claimed to feel for her and for a moment she felt guilty for not feeling the same. Sara faked a cough, clearing her throat and turning her head a little to get some air in the hope that he would submit and leave her alone; it didn't work. He cupped her chin with one finger and tilted her head until he found her eye contact.

There was nothing controlling or angry about his eyes, nothing to suggest he intended to manipulate her and yet she could feel it with every breath she took. So she kissed him knowing that if she could just pretend for a little while that it was ok then maybe it would be. If she could make him happy with one aspect of his life the rest would fall into place.

Greg took her hand in his own standing up waiting for Sara to follow suit; she could feel a lump building in her throat as she realised where they were heading. Without a word she let him lead her upstairs to their bedroom knowing that there was no time for excuses in order to avoid this. Greg kissed her again his hands on her waist holding her against him.

A part of her wanted to struggle against him, push him away but she realised that she couldn't make herself do it so she simply let her hands hang limply at her sides as Greg moved them towards the bed.

He unbuttoned her shirt slowly letting his shaking hands graze across her pale skin. And as much as she had once enjoyed his caress Sara could feel her skin crawl beneath his finger tips. A sigh left resounded through the small space; a sound of pleasure to Greg's ears, weariness to Sara, almost verbalising her reluctance. He finished undressing her and she found herself looking away as he studied her form attempting to memories the details with all his senses.

His fingers danced lightly across her skin, like whispers shared beneath the stars as he attempted to coax a reaction from her. She realised she would have to put on a better show if she intended to keep her feelings from him; if she wanted this to work.

Without meeting his eye she curled her hand around his neck and pulled his face close to her neck; she could feel his breathing on her skin as he muttered sweet nothings in her ear. The words doing nothing to sooth the emptiness aching inside her chest as he pushed himself into her a cry locking itself in her throat.

She went through the motions, their dance so familiar to her that she could map it out without thinking. Each thrust cracking the mask she had attempted to create but still she did not stop him. When his lips met hers she dutifully responded, when his hands explored her body she trembled. She acted like she knew she should, like he would expect.

Greg's eyes sought out eye contact but she knew she couldn't give it to him, the second he looked into her eyes he would know how torturous this was.

She had never wished for sex with Greg to be over he had always been sensitive to her needs. Her mind had never willed him to be done with her body but as she buried her face in the pillow and tensed her muscles against his movements her internal voice was begging him to end it.

The memories of her childhood weighing heavy on her mind once again; the feeling of a grown man smothering her ten year old body as he muttered into her ear of how it would be over soon.

When he collapsed beside her and wrapped her in his arms she held her breath in an attempt to stop the tears escaping from her eyes. He would assume she was trembling from post coital exhaustion, he would boost his ego with his ability to render her speechless but in truth she had never felt so used and dirty in her entire life.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you all for reviewing- please keep them coming!

**Walking on Ashes**

**(Three) **

The morning light poured through the windows like a spot light calling her out on her wrongs as Sara woke. Her whole body ached from the lies she had told the previous night, her hands quickly reaching for Greg's shirt. She pulled it on quietly getting out of bed, creeping out of the room glancing back to see him still asleep.

Her heart lurched into her throat as she thought about how much things had changed between them.

They had once spent their mornings wrapped up in each other's arms talking about how the day would force them apart. Sara wondered at what stage she had began wanting nothing more than to be away from Greg; when had coming home become something that caused anxiety to course through her system?

One case had changed everything- it had turned the man she had fallen in love with into someone she did not recognise. It had been a robbery call out but everything had gone so very wrong. Greg and Langston had found themselves in a shoot out in the middle of a grocery store; their attempts to calm the suspect had only riled him further.

Greg had caught the eye of a woman cradled her child and the words 'everything's going to be okay' appeared on his lips. If only he had known that he would regret ever uttering that sentence- the comfort doing nothing to stop a stray bullet hitting her.

The feeling of hot water cascading over her washed her thoughts away as Sara attempted to remain focused on the present. There were so many things that she wished she could change and her attempts at trying to help Greg were only pushed them further apart.

Sara stepped out of the shower, wrapping her towel firmly around herself hoping that Greg was still asleep.

As she crept back into the bedroom a wave of relief washed over her; Greg was laying facedown completely still. She pulled on her clothes her eyes focused on the duvet watching for any moments from him. Sara made her way downstairs preparing breakfast hoping that Greg would not wake up in another one of the foul moods she had recently gotten used to.

The sound of his footsteps as he made way down the stairs seemed to ring throughout the house, stopping her actions forcing her to face the kitchen door as he made an entrance with a sleepy smile. Greg stepped towards her, kissing her on the forehead not registering the way she seemed to flinch at his touch before sitting down at the kitchen table.

"So last night was...nice..." The sentence seemed to linger in the air and Sara could feel the lies bubble up inside her as she prepared to agree with him ever though the memories made her skin crawl.

"Last night..." She began talking but for some reason she found herself as awkward as Greg.

"It's been a while since...we've felt that close...I've missed...that" he stumbled over his words once again.

"I guess... me too." Sara shrugged slightly sitting herself down opposite Greg.

"I just want you to be happy" he said flippantly meeting her eye.

"I know- I'm sorry. I don't know... how to fix this" Sara studied the sincerity in his gaze finding herself feeling guilty for the way things were between them.

"Neither do I..." Greg looked helplessly at her and silence consumed them. The sound of his phone ringing forced him onto his feet.

They almost silently got ready for the day remaining in their separate spheres lost in thought about how things had once been between them and how hard it seemed to get back to that time.

Greg placed a hurried kiss on Sara's cheek once they had gotten to the lab rushing off in the direction of PD in search of Vega to prepare for their day in court. His touch seemed to burn her skin, and she found herself touching her cheek attempting to stroke away the sensation.

She took a deep breath, clearing her mind preparing herself to start the day. Brass filled her in on their case, his eyes casting towards her with a knowing that something was wrong.

Sara ignored his questioning gaze not wanting to share all of the things that had been going wrong. So instead of opening up and confessing her fears and disappointments she kept going acting like a professional keeping all of her attention focused on the case.

Later that day the anger Greg brought with him into the LVPD offices was something that no one could ignore. All of the detectives that he passed stopped to watch him as he stormed towards Sara as she stood with Brass and Vartann discussing their case. She could feel her breathing stop in her chest as she glanced up to see him moving every closer.

"How did it go?" Sara asked nervously stepping towards him, her grip on the file in her hand tightening.

"He walked all over me and I looked like an idiot. I went in there without a leg to stand on. That's how it went!" He said in a frustrated growl.

"What's wrong?" She swallowed the lump in her throat.

"The guy got away Sara, because you are letting things slip. You didn't follow protocol. You let him get away" he accused boldly.

"I'm sorry..." She looked away not wanting to see the anger in his dark eyes.

"Sure...You're always sorry..." Greg shook his head, with a small mocking laugh. He took a step towards her but before Sara could recognise what she was doing she jumped, the fear evident in her eyes as she tried to put some space between them.

"You've made your point...Get out of here before I arrest you for disturbing the peace..." Brass said calmly before stepping in between them. Greg took a deep breath looking at the detective realising that he had not been joking. With another frustrated growl he turned around heading back in the direction from which he'd come.

"Thank you..." Sara said shakily her eyes focused on the floor out of shame.

"No problem...Come on I'll give you a lift home..." Brass offered attempting to calm her. She simply just nodded following him.

The car journey remained awkwardly silent as he watched for her to start talking but nothing appeared- no words left her lips.

"Greg's been losing his temper a lot recently- hasn't he?" Brass asked as he stopped the car outside of their house. Sara simply just nodded in response not knowing how else to answer the question. "I know how hard it is to walk away...but you can't keep making excuses for him... he's not going to stop..."

"He's just going through a rough patch..." She shook her head at her attempts at defending Greg.

"And it's okay for him to use you as a punching bag?" He raised his eyebrows at her.

"He's never hit me Jim..." Sara said immediately.

"Not yet...he hasn't..." Brass had seen this happen so many times before- he knew how the denial led to more violence than they thought imaginable. But this time it wasn't a stranger- it was someone he knew, someone he cared about.

Sara opened the door looking back at him as if to say goodbye before disappearing into the house. A part of him wanted to stay here- waiting for whenever Greg would return on a drunken binge but as his radio filled the car he realised he couldn't.

As Sara stood in the cool hallway she could hear Brass's last words replaying in her mind. He was right. She had seen it before- the escalation. Greg was on the edge; with every night his temper controlled him a little more, the alcohol forcing spite into his consciousness.

She forced her exhausted body up the stairs into the sanctuary of their bedroom, sitting down on the edge of the bed burying her head in her hands as she did so. She could feel her heart thumping against her chest, the tears fighting against her for freedom as she tried to ignore the memories that troubled her existence.

Sara could remember the sound of the cars moving on a busy road outside of their house, the smell of rainfall floating through the open window. The crack in the door let light and sound pour in but more than anything she wanted it all to dissolve into nothingness. Screaming filled her ears and as she huddled on the floor by the bed whispering about how much she wanted it to stop it never did.

The first time her father had opened that door it was as if the world had fallen apart- all of the lies she had pretended to buy when she asked her mother about her scars and bruises meant nothing. He had dragged her by the arm into the small landing; walls and banisters surrounding her.

In that moment it had felt as if the whole world had been imposing upon her, her breathing struggling to keep going as the facade she had built of her father shattered.

And in that moment she realised that all of the things she had loved about Greg, all of the things she'd hoped he would be were cracking. The smell of alcohol on his breath was more familiar than she would ever let on. The crushing feeling that overwhelmed her chest as he approached her and the fear that followed her like a shadow were no different to her childhood.

Forcing her body into action Sara pulled herself to her feet, fishing out the suitcase they kept under their bed. Wiping away the tears she threw the cupboard doors open realising that she needed to get away from here, this house, Greg. Sara began throwing her belonging inside not caring whether they were organised- she just needed to leave.

The sound of the front door opening made her heart drop as she realised it was too late. Greg stumbled up the stairs- mumbling under his breath about something. Sara knew that she'd run out of time- he was going to see the suitcase and her missing things. He opened the door to see her frozen to the spot his drunken mind slowly taking in what was happening.

"What are you doing?" He asked even though it was more than obvious what was happening. Greg began walking towards her, his eyes focused intently on her expression.

"I think we need to get some space from this...from each other..." She said quietly taking a step back but for every one she took Greg stepped towards her.

"Space..." He repeated the word with a frown. "I see...Can I ask why?"

"Because you're scaring me..." Sara seemed to blurt it out not being able to take the words back.

"I'm scaring you?" He raised his eyebrows, his body pressed firmly against hers leaving her no escape. Without a word Greg placed his hands on either side of her head until her body was in a vice like hold between him and the wall.

"Greg...you're hurting me..." Sara tried to push against his chest only to find he was refusing to move.

"What are you going to do...go running to Brass...Think he'll help you..." Greg spat at her bitterly remembering only too well their earlier fight.

She could feel her tired body grow limp, simply falling back against the wall hoping he would step away but he didn't. Greg traced the side of her face with his fingers before his hand slid into a tight grip around her neck.

"Please..." She whimpered once again trying to fight again him.

"You think he'll want to help you when he realises you're just begging for attention? Did daddy not love you enough? You bring it all on yourself Sara..." He said caustically into her ear.

She couldn't handle the poison anymore. The taunting infected her blood stream; the heat from his body crept over her skin like oil- slick and suffocating. She knew she had to get out of his clutches and away from his anger before he snapped.

She raised one defiant fist in a last ditch attempt to free herself, intending to pound it into his chest and retreat. The next few moments seemed to slow down time itself. His fiery eyes fixed on hers as he roughly grabbed her wrist midway to his chest, in one swift movement he was twisting her arm at a ridiculous angle pushing it back against the wall forcing a cry to escape into the thick air. Almost simultaneously she felt his fist collide with her face.

It took the very last of her self control not to surrender to the darkness clouding her vision and fall to the floor. Stunned, Sara stumbled sideways with the impact rattling in her brain and the room spinning. A heat began to spread across her face as she raised a trembling hand to the site of the impact, tears stinging at her eyes. She met his eye, communicating the fear and betrayal she felt.

Shocked, Greg took a step away from her. He released his grip on her arm and removed his body from hers.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you all for reading- hope you like this chapter- please review.

**Walking on Ashes**

**(Four)**

Taking a deep breath Sara pushed past him as Greg stood his hands limply at his sides his mind barely registering what he had done. It was the sound of her slamming the door to the spare bedroom that seemed to drag his unwilling conscious back to reality. Greg quickly followed her, hearing the sound of the door locking.

"Sara open the door" He shouted standing outside- sobering up all of a sudden it was as if the alcohol had evaporated from his body leaving him nothing but exhausted and dehydrated.

"Just go Greg" Sara leant her back against the door, sinking to the floor in tears, bringing her knees to her chest as she attempted to ignore his pleas for her to talk to him.

"Please...Sara I'm so sorry...Please...talk to me" Greg continued and from the sound of his voice floating in the air that surrounded her. The sound of his fist colliding with the door made her jump, but she refused to move.

Like she had done as a child- Sara emptied her mind letting it wander to memories and places that let her escape- and a time when Greg hadn't become everything he promised he would never be.

He stilled realising that this was not something that they would just be able to fix- this time he had gone too far and he was going to lose Sara because of it. With a deep breath he took a step back returning to their bedroom collapsing on the bed, his eyes focused on the ceiling- he wasn't going to be able to sleep- not tonight.

The sounds of her heels clicking seemed to be drawing more attention than she had ever wanted to, as Sara made her way to the break room. It felt as if everyone was starting at her; at the deep purple bruises that had appeared on her cheek, jaw and neck; the placement of Greg's hands more than clear for the world to see. She had left the house early that morning- making sure Greg was still asleep. Sara realised that she didn't want to see him- see how broken he was- because it would only drag them one step back.

"Sara..." She quickly walked past Hodges as he tried to stop her, ignoring his attempts at conversation. She didn't want to talk. She just wanted to be left alone.

After all of these years in law enforcement, after those years as a child in a house like that, she should have been able to see this coming- Greg's violence should have been more than predictable. But somehow she had been caught out. Love had overridden every part of her that wanted self preservation. And here she was again- a victim- and if Sara was honest with herself she felt ashamed. She should have known better.

"Sara...Slow down..." A familiar low voice was followed by someone's hands on her, stopping her in her tracks. Sara glanced up to meet Brass's eye his expression displaying a mix of anger and disappointment she had gotten used to.

"Come with me" without giving her a choice he led Sara to his office, wrapping his arms firmly around her shoulders pulling her against him. She kept her eyes focused on the floor refusing to meet anyone's gaze.

Once they were inside, Brass lowered the blinds silently telling the officers that were lingering outside the door hoping to get a chance to see what everyone had been talking about to leave before he had to have a word with them. Sara stood awkwardly in the centre of the room her arms wrapped around herself.

She couldn't comfortable- she didn't feel like herself. Brass slowly approached her, tilting her chin up looking at her injuries in the light but still Sara refused to meet his eye.

"He did this, didn't he?" Brass asked taking a step back.

"He was drunk-"Sara began but realised there was no point; she couldn't, she wouldn't, defend him. Taking a deep breath she replied. "Yes"

"Have you been to hospital?" He spoke in a low voice not wanting to frighten her. Sara simply just shook her head.

"I'll take you..." Brass turned to grab his car key's from his desk.

"I don't want to" she shook her head, taking a step back as if the suggestion physically hurt her.

"Sara you can't let him get away with this. He'll do it again" He persisted.

"I know. I know he will" Sara tightened her grip on her jacket.

"You need to leave...now...while you still can" Brass pointed out, realising how hard this was for Sara.

"He'll be there...I don't want to go back..." Sara shook her head even though she knew that it was ridiculous- it was her house- she would have to return at some stage even if it was just to get her things.

"I'll come with you..." He offered.

"I can't ask you to do that."

"You're not asking- I'm telling you- I'll take you and you can get your things. Do you have anywhere you can stay?" Brass asked realising that, more than anything, Sara needed support.

"No...I can stay at a hotel- its fine" She shrugged.

"You can stay with me" The tone of his voice suggesting that he was telling her rather than offering. A part of her mind scrambled to find an argument worthy to explain why she couldn't but her exhausted body had given up the will to fight. Without a word she let him lead her to his car silencing her unwilling mind as she realised that it was time to let go of the very thing she had been scared to lose.

From the outside the house liked as peaceful as every other in the neighbourhood; the grass was just as green, the roses had done just as well but the darkness in the windows hid secrets that she had wished to keep. Glancing back nervously at Brass she opened the door, looking into the house listening out for any sound of life.

The only thing that appeared different were the suitcases that were at the bottom of the stair case, from the door they could see Greg sitting at the kitchen table his hands clasped together. He looked up at them; his eyes red rimmed, his expression displaying nothing but exhaustion.

"Sara..." He pulled himself up making his way towards her but Brass stepped in way observing clearly the way she had jumped away from him. "Please...talk to me..."

"She's got nothing to say to you" The older man said sternly, warning Greg that the best thing would be for him to step away.

"I'm sorry...I never meant to your hurt you..." He was pleading for her to listen but Sara kept her eyes focused on the ground not being able to force herself to look him in the eye. The words he was saying only reminding her of a time she had wished to disappear, to escape.

"You're lucky she's not pressing charges- back off" Again the sound of Brass's gruff voice warned him of the consequences. With a deep breath Greg took a step back attempting to word all of the things he needed to say to her.

"I'm leaving..." He announced unceremoniously indicating to the bags at the foot of the stairs. "I'm going to get help...I'm going to get better...Sara I'm so sorry for everything I've done, everything that's happened..."

"I know" Her voice was quiet as it registered in her mind that this was it- it was over.

"I love you..." He said watching her realising that he had never wanted to be this person; he had never wanted to scare Sara. She met his eye for the first time since entering the house nodding not being able to say the words back.

Greg picked up his bags, stepping past them both glancing back one last time before he walked out of the front door leaving Sara and Brass standing in silence. Her heart leaped into her throat as she crumpled against the wall a shaky breath escaping her lips. Sara realised that a part of her felt relief while her heart missed Greg already.

"Hey...it's going to be okay...he's gone now..." Brass mattered attempting to sooth her, placing a hand carefully on her arm. Sara nodded her voice caught in her throat as she attempted to agree that this was a good thing- that it was for best.

But as the weeks without Greg passed Sara couldn't stop thinking about the small things that she loved about him; the way he smiled at her, brought her flowers after a bad day at work, made her breakfast in bed when she was sick. The way he had always promised he loved her more than anything else- wearing his heart on his sleeve from the moment he'd met her.

It wasn't the same without him.

As she walked through the precinct it felt as if everyone's eyes were on her- no one had forgotten the bruises, the marks that Greg had left before he disappeared. Sara could see the sympathy in their eyes as she watched her. The pity in their expression as she twisted the ring he had given her around her finger was there to remind her that Greg had left her for a reason.

"Have you heard from Greg?" Brass asked he handed Sara the file for that day.

"No" She replied shortly. A part of her was worried about him, as she walked through the door to an empty house she would wonder where he was, what he was doing, if things had finally worked out for the better.

"You sound disappointed" He pointed out watching as she pretended to study the words in front of her.

"Things aren't the same without him..." Sara shrugged trying to ignore the judgement in Brass's gaze.

It had been the first time since Greg had left she'd admitted out loud that she missed him.


	5. Chapter 5

Please review- let me know what you think!

**Walking On Ashes **

**(Six Months Later) **

**(Five) **

The sound of the doorbell ringing filled the house, echoing through the empty rooms, disturbing the silence she had created. Sara wrapped her robe around herself as she scampered off her bed butterflies filling her stomach, the anxiety kicking in. The time, 3:04 am, was glowing red on the bedside clock a reminder that this was a strange for visitors. Tightening the knot at her waist she approached the front door studying the silhouette of the person behind the glass. It was a man- that much was obvious- his height and broad shoulders giving him away. Swallowing the lump in her throat Sara swung open the door, her heart stopping as she studied the person in front of her.

Greg looked slightly different to the last time she had seen him but she was certain that the man standing in front of her was the very same person. His brown eyes still had the same warmth she had grown to love and his smile was still the same unassuming grin with the shadows of self doubt that had endeared her the moment she had met him. Stubble crept up his cheek bones, and he looked thinner than he had been before. But despite everything- he was still Greg.

"I'm sorry...I didn't know where else to go" He said in a raspy low voice the helplessness more than obvious in his expression. With a small nod Sara stepped aside letting him into the house; their house.

He stood awkwardly in the hallway placing his bag down, his eyes scanning to see if anything had changed since he had been there. Greg looked to Sara waiting for her to say something but she was still shell shocked at his presence words failing her. She carefully closed the door and with a deep breath turned to face Greg.

"Have you eaten?" she asked nervously crossing her arms across her chest out of habit.

"No" Greg shook his head. "I feel asleep on the bus" Without saying a word Sara made her way to the kitchen assuming Greg would follow. He eventually did taking a shaky breath. He stood by the door waiting for Sara to instruct him to sit down, to do something but no such thing came. She didn't say a word placing a plate down on the table for him.

"Thank you" He smiled gratefully at her sitting himself down slipping his jacket away from his shoulders. "How have you been?"

"Good" Sara replied studying the way his hands trembled slightly, sitting down opposite Greg. "How have you been?"

"Things have been hard..." he replied honestly not meeting her eye. "I've been sober for four months now..."

"Well done...I'm proud of you" Sara smiled softly at him. Silence fell between them as they realised they hadn't been alone in a room together for over half a year. Greg looked as broken as he had done the day he'd left Las Vegas. Sara could feel her stomach twist into knots as she watched him eat.

"I'll go set up the spare bedroom..." She muttered to him slowly getting to her feet her eyes searching for approval from Greg to leave the room.

"I don't want to impose" he cleared his throat. "I can go to a hotel"

"No...Stay..." Sara assured him.

Greg made his way upstairs once he'd finished eating; Sara was straightening the pillows she had placed on the bed.

"Thank you for this" Greg indicated to the bed. She shook her head as if to stop him from speaking but the silence seemed to come naturally as they struggled to find all of the right words.

"Goodnight Greg" Sara muttered to him as she made her way out of the room. He stood looking around defeated listening to the sound of her closing her door, the lock softly clicking as she attempted to quieten it down.

The lump in his throat refused to disappear, not matter how hard he tried to ignore the things that they had left unsaid. With an exhausted sight Greg undressed, laying down on the bed his eyes focused on the ceiling as his mind refused to rest.

The morning came harsher than expected the light blinding him as he opened his eyes; Greg pulled himself up adjusting to his new surroundings. His heart beat in his head as he slowly made his way down stairs. Sara was sitting at the table, the news paper laid out on the table and a cup of coffee in her hand. She glanced up at him and it was as if she was seeing him for the first time.

"Morning" he croaked making his way towards the cabinets. He carefully placed a bowl on the counter, tipping cereal into it. Greg picked up the milk carton struggling with getting it open, his tired hands finally giving up and placing in aside with a sigh. Without his shirt Sara could see just how much weight he'd lost, just how weak he'd become in the past six months.

"Here" She made her way towards him, opening the carton pouring it into his cereal for him.

"I used to have to do that every morning" He said with a sad smile taking his bowl to the table, sitting down barely being able to meet Sara's eye. A part of her wanted to tell him that everything was going to be okay, that they would work through all of the things that had gotten wrong but she couldn't bring herself to lie. She didn't know. What if this was it?

"Greg...I want to help...I want to make this better" Sara said softly sitting opposite, attempting to fight the tears that were stinging her eyes- it physically hurt to see him like this. But Greg didn't say a word shaking his head.

"You can't Sara. No one can." He eventually said not bothering to look up at her. Sara couldn't help it she stood up moving towards him, wrapping her arms around Greg. His weakly held onto her not getting to his feet, burying his face into her t-shirt.

"We're going to get through this I promise" She muttered to him. Sara eventually let go sitting down in her seat again. "I have to go now...but if you want I can stay..."

"No...You should go. I'll be fine." He assured her, he tried to force himself to smile, but one did not appear.

And as Sara drove to the lab she couldn't help but feel guilty for leaving Greg alone; he looked so broken. It felt so strange to Sara that there had been a time she had feared him- she had shivered at his presence. Looking at him now the only feelings that dredged up inside her were pity and sadness that he had faded so fast.

The man in her home was a shell of the person he had once been.

As she made her way to the break room, the team before her Sara knew she should have told them that Greg was back but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She didn't want them to see him the way he was. Some resentment had lingered towards him once he'd left and as much as Sara defended them they would look at her as if to try and understand how she could do such a thing.

But Sara realised that to her Greg would always be the man she had fallen in love with- the man that had saved her from herself so many times, someone who would have given up everything to make her happy. She remembered him for how witty, warm and generous he was. And as she cast her eyes around at the people sipping coffee and chatting she knew that no one would understand how she could simply just let him back into her life.

The day didn't seem to past fast enough and with every moment to spare Sara's thoughts remained on Greg. She wondered what he was doing and her heart sunk as she thought of her well stocked drinks cabinet. She should have emptied it before she'd left for work but these things hadn't crossed her mind.

As the day slowly wound to a close the fear that he would have relapsed seemed to stay at the forefront of her mind. The memories of what it had been like to come home to Greg drunk appeared from where ever she had pushed them away to. She thought of the rage, the pain and the conflict that she'd seen in her eyes anxiety settling in her stomach as she made her way to her car.

Sara rushed home swinging open the door shouting out Greg's name to hear no response. There was nothing but silence ringing back. As she slipped her coat from her shoulders she could see him at the end of the hall way sitting at the kitchen table.

Greg's eyes were focused on an untouched bottle of whiskey he had placed at the centre of the table- using all of his will power not to open it and pour himself a drink. As Sara approached him she could see that his eyes were glazed over and it was almost as if his mind wasn't there at all.

"Greg" She said his name softly placing a hand gently on his shoulder but he didn't look away from the bottle.

"I wanted to do it" He whispered. "But I didn't"

Sara wanted to say something but the words simply refused to appear in the air, so she just sat herself down next to him. After a few moments she reached out her hand touching his but still no movement came.

"Let's go to bed...we're both tired..." She said soothingly but he simply just left his arm shrugging her off. Without being able to stop it Sara found herself recoiling from the movement- Greg turned to look at her his eyes suddenly sparking with a devastated emotion.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to scare you" He spoke quietly as if afraid someone would over hear.

"I know you didn't" She said in an equally low voice meeting his eyes meaningfully.

"I'm always messing up" Greg seemed to be sinking back into a depression; he closed his eyes pinching the bridge of his nose as if to silence a headache. Sara reached out her hand once again, tangling her fingers with his, kissing the skin softly.

"You're only human" She replied to his self deprecating words. Greg let her lead him upstairs to the spare bedroom.

Without a word Sara helped him pull of his t-shirt and jeans his weak, exhausted body almost immediately collapsing on to the bed. She pulled the covers around his shoulders; her hands brushing against his cold skin.

Sara didn't move from the edge of the bed remaining perched there, her hand slowly brushing his hair away from his face. She kissed his forehead softly waiting until he had fallen asleep before creeping out of the room.

She made her way downstairs her eyes focusing on the whiskey bottle at the centre of the kitchen table her heart in her throat. Realising what she had to do Sara poured the content down the sink, feeling nauseated by the smell of Jack Daniels as it filled the air. She threw the empty bottle into the bin and followed suit with the rest of her liquor cabinet watching as the alcohol swirled down the drain.

Sara leant back against the table her heart in her throat as she cast her eyes over all of the empty bottles lined up by the edge of the sink.

Filling up a plastic bag Sara, carefully placing the bottles in- not wanting to make too much noise for fear of waking Greg. Carrying them outside, she threw the bag into the bin- the last reminders of alcohol gone.

The night air chilled her to the bone as she collapsed on the sofa not able to stop the tears that had been threatening to fall all day. Bringing her knees to her chest Sara let go of the last facade of strength she had left.

Greg sat at the top of the stairs, sleep refusing to stay as he listened to Sara's soft sobs. He realised that in that moment he had never felt so helpless in his life.


	6. Chapter 6

Hope you all enjoy this chapter- please review- let me know what you think/ if you want more!

**Walking on Ashes**

**(Six) **

The sun beat down on Sara as she wiped a bead of sweat from her brow, carefully eyeing the tomatoes plants she had decided to grow in the corner of her vegetable patch. She added more water carefully twisting her fingers around the leaves with a disappointed sigh.

"Can I help?" Greg asked standing nervously three feet away from her. He smoothed his shirt down, glancing around the garden as if looking for an answer.

"Of course" Sara beamed at him as he cast his eyes around the garden. It was the first time since Greg had returned that he had left the house- it was only the garden but Sara knew that this was more progress than she had imagined there would be so soon. "The gardenia's need the dead head's removed" She indicated to the white coloured flowers that were lined up in large plant pots along the garden.

A frown creased Greg's brow as he studied the plants she had spoke about, not moving an inch from where he was standing for a few moments. Sara pulled herself to her feet with a small sigh taking off the gardening gloves she was wearing.

"Come on" She smiled leading Greg by the hand towards one of large plant pots. She silently showed him what to do, waiting for him to join in as she picked the dying leaves. He slowly began copying her, his eyes focused on the flowers.

"I went to stay with my parents..." The words appeared with no context, but as Sara studied the concentration on Greg's face she realised that context wasn't needed, he was finally going to open up to her. "...I told them about what happened...what I'd done...to you...to all the people around me"

"You were under a lot of stress Greg...and the booze..." Sara realised despite everything she wouldn't be able to stop herself from defending him. "...You weren't yourself...It changes people..."

"I know...but it's no excuse..." He finally met her gaze forcing as much confidence as he could into the things he was saying. "I'm sorry...I don't know how many times I can say it...I don't know how many times could be enough but...The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt you..."

"I know you didn't mean to..." She said softly turning her attention back to flowers between them.

"They got me into a rehab program..." Greg continued. "And I got some therapy...talked about what happened that day, what I could do to cope with it..."

"How are you feeling now?" She had been studying his behaviour carefully since he had returned, the fear that he would slip back into his old habits more than concern. But the Greg that had made himself once again at home was a shadow. He barely spoke, and when he did the words were laced with exhaustion. His eating habits had slowly improved but that was barely due to the instance of Sara than his own choice. She would find herself having to sit with him until he'd finished his meals, his body clearly rejecting the idea of food.

"Better" He shrugged mutedly giving away the self doubt he had been trying to hide. "I still have nightmares..."

"It'll take some time..." Sara tried to comfort him but realised that she didn't know what to say to make this better, to make it less painful.

"I missed you so much..." He confessed with a whisper. "I kept thinking about all of the things that I'd thrown away...All of the time we had together...All the things we'd planned..."

"I missed you too..." Sara replied honestly. "I was so worried about you Greg...I didn't know where you were, how you were doing...I tried looking for you...But I realised this was something you needed to do on your own..."

"I don't want to be on my own anymore..." He announced turning his attention to the flower that had fallen into his hand. "...I've tried, to move on, to let go, and I knew coming back here would be hard...But I don't want to walk away without knowing I tried...Without telling you how I feel... Sara I still love you"

Sara felt as if the world was crumbling from under her feet as she looked into Greg's eyes realising that it was time to make a decision. This conversation had come sooner than she had expected- and it had made her more conflicted than she had ever imagined she would be. All of the time she had spent imagining what life would be like once Greg had been proved incorrect.

They were still dancing around each other, skating on thin ice, trying not to crack the balance they had struck up. They were still living like two strangers who had found themselves in the place vicinity. As she cleared her throat she realised that she owed Greg the truth, he had been trying so hard to make things right.

"Greg I..." Sara took a deep breath, blinking away the tears. "I love you...but I'm not in love with you..."

"Oh" Greg realised that he didn't know how to response to her confession, looking towards the sky, watching the clouds as they rolled on. "I...I'll book the flight back to Cali...you won't have to see me again-"

"No" She cut him off quickly, crawling to the other side of the pot so she was beside him. "Don't go...I want to make this work...But...I want to take things slow...I'm sorry..."

"Don't be...I understand..." He gave her a weak smile.

"You still mean a lot to me Greg...and I don't want to make a mistake rushing back into this..." She smoothed her hands over the collar of his shirt. "You understand...don't you?"

"I do" He nodded, his heart fluttering at the feel of her touch. Sara leant in placing a gentle kiss on Greg's cheek.

"Thank you..." She gave him a warm smile, offering him her hand. "Come on...we have plenty more of these to do"

The afternoon passed in a sunny haze and the dull skies of dusk began to settle in, blanketing the city. Sara leant back her eyes focused on the clouds rolling by as she lay back against the grass. Greg couldn't help but follow suit, spotting stars above them in a daze.

Sara tangled her fingers through Greg's without a word, a small smile tugging at her lips as she did so. He could feel his heart well up with an emotion he hadn't felt in a long time as he turned to face her.

They slowly made their way inside as the night began buzzing around them; they stood awkward at the top of the stair landing trying to figure how to end the day. Greg slowly wrapped his arms around Sara hugging her quickly, but as he pulled away her hands remained on his shoulders. He could feel her breath hitting his cheek.

Without over thinking Sara leant towards him, her lips softly brushing against his. He tasted just like she had remembered, and as he kissed her back his hands remained on her waist not going anywhere they had not been invited.

The air seemed to still as they pulled away, their eyes speaking of all the things they had missed while they had been apart.

"Good night" Greg whispered to her, before making his way to his room not wanting to blur any lines, or force anything. Sara had been right; they needed to take things slowly this time.

As she lay in bed, Sara could hear Greg shifting in his sleep, a pained groan filling escaping into the room. The sound of his helpless whimpers filling the house as she pushed the covers aside quickly climbing downstairs to get a glass of water for him.

She walked into his room, recalling how once those nightmares had terrified her, how Greg would have woken in a bad mood prepared to take it out her. But even though she hadn't wanted to give in so soon, Sara had convinced herself that he was different- that things were going to be different this time.

"Greg..." She softly muttered in his ear, placing the glass of water on the night stand, perching on the edge of the bed, her hands on his shoulder. "Greg, wake up..."

His body seemed to jerk as his eye lids fluttered open, a small cry appearing on his lips as his eyes adjusted to the light.

"It's going to be okay..." Sara whispered to him pulling him towards her, letting him wrap his arms around her waist as his body shook slightly.

Greg eventually untangled himself from her, sitting up while Sara watched him take small sips of the water she had brought him. His eyes met hers and it was more than clear he felt ashamed about the display of fear, anger and resentment he still felt after all of this time.

"I'll be okay" He announced as if to tell her that it was okay if she wanted to leave him now, but Sara didn't say a word slipping under the covers next to him.

The morning light poured into the room and Sara woke, her ears filled with the sound of Greg's heart beat. The nostalgia seemed to surround her no matter how hard she tried to push it out of her mind. Sara pulled herself up in a seated position glancing back at Greg cursing herself for falling asleep when she had intended to leave the moment he'd dozed off.

She pulled herself up and out of bed regretting her actions realising that perhaps this would shatter all of the things she'd hoped for. As she showered she considered whether the mistake she had made would lead Greg on into thinking that everything would go back to normal.

It felt as if they had taken two steps back instead of one forward.

Greg appeared nervously at the kitchen door, and sat himself down at the table for breakfast as Sara poured him a cup of coffee.

"You look good" She smiled, brushing a hand across his cheek against his clean shaven skin.

"Thank you...I have a job interview" He gave a small shrug. "It probably won't come to anything...but no harm in trying I guess"

"You're going to do great...I'm sure" Sara kissed his cheek gently, placing a plate of pancakes in front of him. She was silently thankful for the fact he had not mentioned the previous night they had spent tangled in each other's arms. "Greg...I know it might be too soon...but Doc Robbins is throwing a wedding anniversary party for Judy...and I'd love if you'd be my date..."

"Everyone will be there..." He said slowly, as if to check. Sara gave a quick nod before adding.

"You don't have to come if you don't want to"

"I do..." Greg smiled at her, "Of course I'll be your date."


	7. Chapter 7

Please review- let me know what you think!

**Walking on Ashes**

**(Seven) **

Greg nervously leant back in the driver seat attempting to gather his thoughts and tried to prepare himself for the evening ahead. There was going to be more than one thing ready to stress him out and force him to the bottle but he'd promised himself that the moment he thought that was going to happen he would walk out.

"It's going to be fine" Sara promised squeezing his hand with a smile that he wanted more than anything to believe in.

"I hope so..." Greg nodded realising that it was now or never. They both climbed out of the car, a sense of foreboding surrounding them as they made their way towards the door hand in hand. Sara pressed the door bell, her grip on Greg tightening as she stepped back standing beside him.

Doc Robbins appeared at the door with a warm smile, he hugged Sara, casting his eyes over Greg before turning his gaze on her. She gave a small smile and nod to indicate that everything was okay, pulling Greg by the hand close to the door.

"It's nice to see you Greg" The older man offered his and Greg took it thankfully, realising that this meant there was one less person here that hated him.

The party was in full swing as they made their ways inside, people were mingling and drinking, for a short while it was as if it didn't matter that Greg was there. Sara didn't let go of his hand recognising just how daunting this was for him.

"We can go if you want" She muttered to him as they made their way through the door to the living room. Greg gave her a grateful smile but shook his head realising that this was bound to come at some stage.

The atmosphere in the living room was much more settled, people were sitting in the sofas and chairs chatting amongst themselves, and it became clear that all of their friends were there. It was like the domino effect they all turned to face the pair that had just entered their eyes burning into Greg.

"What's he doing here?" Brass spoke for the others standing up- he made himself known.

"I invited him" Sara said speaking up, stepping in front of Greg as if it would stop the glares that were in heading in their direction.

"Why would you do that?" Nick asked raising an eyebrow at her as if failing to comprehend whatever was happening between the two of them.

"He has as much right, as anyone else to be here" Sara assured them.

"No he doesn't" Brass approached them.

"Jim...Please..." Sara pleaded with him silently to not draw any more attention that was needed to them. He took a deep breath glaring at Greg as he left the room, the atmosphere heavy as everyone attempted to figure out how to respond to the situation that had unfolded.

"Greg" A familiar voice appeared behind them as Hodges appeared with a smile. "Can I get you a beer?"

"I...Don't drink anymore" He replied glancing at Sara as he spoke.

"Oh I see- where have you been?" It was if the man had short time memory and had forgotten the bruises that had charred Sara's skin- the very thing they were all muttering about.

"Rehab" Greg said in a dead-pan voice realising there was no point in dressing it up.

"Oh...Well nice talking" Hodges quickly moved away taking his seat next to Henry.

Catherine made her way towards him, her gaze focused on Sara ignoring Greg's presences as if he were a ghost.

"Can I have a word?" She asked sternly and in a way Sara realised that she couldn't say no. Sara gave Greg a small nod, eventually letting go of his hand following Catherine out into the hall way.

"What are you doing Sara? Have you lost your mind?" The older woman accused.

"He's different..." Sara tried to ground, but she realised that her voice was shaky. "He's changed..."

"Are you sure?" Catharine questioned quirking an eyebrow at her.

"He's been sober for four months now, he's been to rehab, and he's had therapy...things are getting better Cath..." She sounded desperate for someone to believe her.

"Sara...we've heard these stories so many times...we know the stats...we know the cycle of violence...are you telling me that the next time he get's stressed...or has a drink...he's not going to take it out on you?" Catherine asked, her eyes flaring with concern and Sara tried to ignore the things that were being asked of her she realised she couldn't honestly say 'no'.

Nick made his way towards Greg, a frown creasing his brow as he tried to word the things he wanted to say correctly. The younger man stood in the spot Sara had left him, his hands buried in his pockets as he attempted not to attract any attention.

"Look Greg...I don't know what you've said to Sara...but you lay a finger on her...and I swear you'll live to regret it" He said in his thick southern drawl.

"I love her..." Greg announced as resistance but his voice was meek.

"She might be able to forgive you but trust me - I'm watching your every move." Nick continued. "We were all doing just fine while you were gone - she was doing fine while you were gone."

"I never meant to hurt her" He almost muttered.

"So what you fist acted of its own accord when it hit her? You just happened to pin her up against a wall? Putting your hand around her neck was an accident?" The words came out in a hiss.

"If I could take it back it would. I'd do anything" Greg knew there was no point in talking but he tried anyway.

"Count yourself lucky that I respect Sara enough not to march you out of here right now." Nick added.

"You don't need to worry...I was just leaving" The younger man finally said, turning to see Sara standing beside him in the same spot she had been, Nick and Catherine not moving away from the pair.

"I'm going to head home...I'll take a cab..." He said handing Sara the car keys. Greg pressed a kiss against Sara's lips, the action causing the people surrounding them to take sharply inhale.

"Greg...Don't..." Sara tried to stop him but he shook his head with a sad smile.

"It's okay..." He assured her. "Have fun, I'll see you later"

Greg made his way towards the door; barely look back, his heart heavy in his chest as realised that all of his hopes for returning home were not to be. Bottles of wine were neatly lined up on the small table by the entrance seemed to be burning in his vision. Greg found himself looking around to check that no one was watching him before lifting the bottle into his hand.

As he sat at the end of the front lawn it was as if the bottle had tripled in weight, the mere act of lifting it to his lips tiring him out.

A mouthful of wine swirled around, rattling against his teeth but unlike how he'd imagined the taste made him sick. All of this time he had feared one drink would lead to so many more but he couldn't face it. Without over thinking Greg poured the blood red liquid away watching as it splattered across the floor as a reminder of his weakness.

A strange feeling settled in the pit of Sara's stomach as she looked around at the people that were supposed to be her friends. She knew that they were doing it for her own good but the sadness that filled him at Greg's absence spoke a thousand words. She'd let herself get wrapped up in what she felt for him. Making an excuse of a headache, she made her way towards the door bumping into Hodges as she wrapped her shawl around her shoulders.

"Leaving already?" He smirked, rattling his drink in his hand.

"Did you see which way Greg went?" Sara asked, ignoring his question.

"You know, I was surprised he turned up here to be honest... he didn't exactly leave on good terms" He began, casting his eyes over the crowds of people and preparing himself for a monologue.

"Look, do you know where he went or not?" Sara interrupted; she had no time for his games tonight.

"Rude" Hodges remarked, fixing his expression "He took a bottle and headed out. I expect he will be in the gutter somewhere"

Sara stepped out into the night, the feeling of foreboding wrapping around her as her eyes scanned the darkness to see Greg's hunched up figure at the end of the lawn. She approached him, her heels sinking into the grass, moisture covering her ankles and feet from the sprinkler but she didn't care.

"Greg" The sound of her voice terrifying him into dropping the bottle in his hands. The glass smashing as it collided with the ground, gravity winning the fight.

Sara's breath caught in her chest as it was as if the world had been pulled out from her feet and she was tumbling in the abyss. "How could you? After everything that's happened... Why?"

Greg struggled to get himself to his feet, watching her with a slightly confused expression. He wanted to tell her that he'd poured the booze away- that he couldn't drink because the entire time the only thing he could think about was her. The life they had built, the life he had always wanted, stopping him for doing something he knew he was going to regret.

Nick approached Hodges his eyes focused on the front door that Sara had just disappeared out of, "Where did she go?"

"To find Greg...he stole a bottle of wine and split..." Hodges informed Nick who without a word turned to find Brass. "Rude. What's with people tonight?"

"Go inside Sara" Nick's voice came from behind her as she stood in front of Greg her hands curled up into fists.

"No" She growled turning to face them.

"Go inside- let us handle this" Brass repeated as they slowly approached Greg as if closing in on a suspect.

"This is your fault" Sara accused making it clear she would not let them any closer to Greg.

"If you do this, if you go home with him now after this... then we're done bailing you out" Nick said sternly warning Sara to step aside and let them deal with the situation that had unfolded.

"Fine" She spat at them "You couldn't give him a chance? Didn't he deserve that?"

"No, not after what he did" Brass shot back at her.

"He made a mistake-"Sara began but she'd been cut off.

"He hit you Sara. And you know what he would have kept doing it. And what would you have done? Said something after the tenth time he put you in hospital?" The older man kept talking but she tried to ignore the words he was saying and the crowd that was forming at the end of the law.

"He was doing well. He was in control... I tried to tell you that but you were too judgemental to listen." She protested.

"If you're okay with him using you as a punching bag then go Sara..." Nick said sternly.

She realised she didn't know what to do- the fear was still there- it wouldn't go away that easily no matter much she tried to push it aside. But as she looked back to see Greg standing before her looking completely broken Sara realised she couldn't leave him here, let him be torn apart by Brass and Nick.

Without a word Sara made her way towards him, wrapping her arm around his waist letting him lean on her as they made their way to the car. Greg climbed into the passenger seat, pulling on his seat belt in a sober manner that surprised her.

They both remained silent the entire journey home and it was not until Sara had pulled up in the drive way that Greg told her what had happened that night.

"I couldn't do it" He stated. "Every time I tried to drink it...I thought of you...I poured the down the drain"


	8. Chapter 8

**Walking on Ashes**

**(Eight) **

As Sara made her way into the house she could see Greg was sitting at the table in silence, a strange expression masking his features as he stared off into the distance, completely lost in his own thoughts. She approached him with caution realising that he'd seen that blank look on his face before- it had filled her with more fear than she had expected but as he turned to look at her, it as if life had just flooded back into his brown eyes.

"I got the job" He smiled, with a small shrug as if it was not that impressive. Sara took note of the suit that he was wearing, one of his old ones and the flowers that lay on the table beside him. She had kept all of his things in the place he had left them, convinced that one day he would come back, that they would get back to normal. As she studied the way he had carefully shaved, the time he had taken in what he was wearing and the warmth that had spread across his skin for the first time since he'd been back Sara realised that perhaps it would happen. Perhaps they could learn to be happy again.

"Here" Greg pulled himself to his feet, awkwardly handing her the bouquet of tulips, not knowing how else to do it.

"What are they for?" She smiled before shooting a confused frown in his direction.

"To say thank you...for letting me stay here, for helping me, for believing I could get better..." He explained his hands tucked into his trousers. In the past few weeks it had become clear that Sara was one of the last people who believed that he could honestly change.

"You don't need to thank me" Sara moved towards him, gently kissing his cheek before stepping away.

"I'll...understand if you want to say no...And I realise that this might be too soon...and...if...if you want to say no I'll totally get it-" He began nervously rambling and Sara couldn't help but cut him off.

"Just spit it out Greg" She gave him her infamous half smile.

"I was wondering if you'd have dinner with me..." He paused studying her expression to see if she understood the implications of his request.

"Oh" Sara took a deep breath shifting on her feet.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to-"Again he began rambling again but she stopped him.

"I'd love to" Sara smiled sensitively at him, realising that things were never going to move forward if she didn't accept what had happened and to let it go. She realised she was never going to get Greg back until she forgave him and started again.

"Great...I booked a table at Alize" He informed her with a weak smile, not knowing how she would respond.

"You didn't have to do that" She shook her head with a small laugh. "I would have been okay with a pizza"

"I...wanted to treat you... I thought we could celebrate...properly" Greg offered, rubbing her shoulders as she let her bag slide onto the floor.

"Well I better go get dressed then" She pressed a kiss to his lips before making her way out of the room.

Sara made her way upstairs realising that this was a date- that after all of these years of knowing Greg they were once again getting to know each other. He was a different man now- he was no longer the sweet lab tech trying to get her attention. Life had changed him. Greg had grown up more than Sara had ever imagined him to; he had gone from trudging through the angst of his teenage years to fighting a losing battle against the stressful realities that made their existences.

She threw open her wardrobe realising she wanted to make an effort tonight- she wanted to it to be special.

Her wardrobe was filled with everyday clothes, comfortable things perfect for a scene less so for an evening at an expensive restaurant. Sara moved the few cocktail dresses she owned settling on a deep maroon dress, the belle lace beneath her fingertips. Sara slipped onto the dress, quickly redoing her make up the sound of Greg's footsteps downstairs a reminder that she didn't have the luxury of time to prepare herself for tonight.

"You look beautiful" Greg said with a dazed smile as his eyes washed over her form, taking in every inch of skin, every laced covered curve.

"Thank you" She blushed looking away. She had never been comfortable with too much attention, but Greg had looked at her as if she was the only woman in the world even on those days she would sit around the house in her PJs without any make up.

"Shall we?" He asked offering her his arm, indicating to the door. Sara couldn't help but smile, intertwining her arm with his letting Greg lead her to the door.

The drive to the restaurant was awkwardly silent, as they attempted to get their bearings in the new stage their relationship had entered. Every so often Sara would find herself turning to him wanting to say something but realising that there was nothing that came to mind.

They were lead through the jungle of tables towards one by the window, the Las Vegas strip sprawling out in front of them like their own private show- the lights stunning Sara for a few moments as she looked to Greg. He standing by their table, a small bit of card reading 'Sanders', holding the back of a chair for her. She slipped into the seat, her eyes casting over the city before turning to Greg.

"This...is too much...you shouldn't have..." She eventually mumbled as the waiter poured her a glass of Chardonnay.

"I wanted to" He beamed at her. "How was work?"

"Good...Doc Robbins asked about you..." Sara commented, straightening out her dress.

"Oh" Greg seemed surprised, taking a sip of his water.

"I told him that you were doing well...that we were doing well" She corrected herself, touching Greg's hand hoping that he would see just how much all of this meant to her.

The atmosphere seemed to come naturally as they talked, and all of the nerves they had at the start of the night just seemed to blend into the background. People on the tables around them began to disappear but they remained in their seats sharing stories and jokes.

"...Being in your old bedroom as an adult is a very depressing experience" Greg pointed out, moving his chocolate cake around the plate. "But I needed it"

"I hope your mother didn't think I'd abandoned you" She smirked, recalling how surprised Mrs Sanders had been when they'd first met. Sara had recognised that she was the type of woman that she had expected her son to settle down with, and her attempts at being polite had not changed that.

"Oh no..." He shook his head. "I'm sorry...for being so out of touch"

"It's okay...I understand" Sara assured him.

"I was going to send you a postcard...but I didn't really know what to say... 'Wish you were here Rehab's great'..." Greg gave a small laugh.

"I wish I could have been there for you" She realised that despite everything, she felt guilty for leaving Greg when he had needed her the most.

"Sara...I never wanted you to see me like that..." He assured her.

"You've done so well" Sara commented watching the way Greg ran his fingertips around his glass. He just gave her a weak smile.

"We should probably get going..." He commented looking around the way the restaurant around them was winding down.

"You're right" She agreed getting to her feet, waiting for Greg to follow suit.

They stepped into the night air, as the city refused to stop, cars moving past them in a rush to get somewhere.

"Here" Greg slipped off his jacket, wrapping it around Sara's shoulders as he noticed her rubbing her arms for the third time.

"Thank you" She smiled gratefully at him as he pulled her into him.

Sara reached out for Greg's hand, moving to be by his side as they strolled down slowly enjoying simply being near one another.

Once they had made it through the front door Sara turned to face Greg with a small smile, realising that this was it, they had made it through their first date after all of these years.

"Thank you for walking me home" She nodded at him.

"I'll have you know I'm a gentleman" He winked at her.

"Oh... I see..." She pressed her lips together watching him waiting for the next move. "So...as a gentleman do you think a kiss on a first date would be too forward?"

"Let's see..." Greg pulled Sara towards him, his hands on her waist, his lips gently brushing against hers to gauge her reaction. She curled her hands around his shoulders, standing on her tiptoes evening out their heights deepening the kiss.

In that moment it was as if all the air had disappeared from the hallway and the only thing keeping them going was each other. Sara found herself being completely overwhelmed by Greg's presence, the smell of his skin, the taste of his lips. It had been so long since she'd felt this close to him, and from the way his hands trembled slightly as he pulled her flush against him it was clear he too could feel things falling into place in that moment.

"What do you think?" Sara asked him breathlessly as they pulled away.

"I think...We need to go on a second date..." He replied his brown eyes sparkling with something she couldn't help but detect.

"I'd like that" She kissed him on the cheek, making her way up the stairs, looking over her shoulder at Greg once more. "Good night"

"Good night..." He watched in awe, a strange feeling flooding his body as he realised for the first in a long time- he could truly say he was happy.


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry for the slow update everyone- it took me ages to write this chapter! Hope you enjoy it- please let me know what you think :)

**Walking on Ashes**

**(Nine) **

The night sky closed in around them as the road stretched on for miles out in the desert. Dust was thrown up around the vehicle cloaking them in its shadow as they moved further away from civilisation.

"Do you even know where this place is?" Sara asked yet again, suspiciously eyeing the car ahead of them.

"Just keep driving" He dismissed with a smile.

She always hated driving in the desert at night but she had insisted that she was the one behind the wheel. He could see why it caused her so much stress, it was almost impossible to see 3 feet in front of you out here and challenging enough just staying on the road.

"There are plenty of good restaurants in the city Greg" she sighed as the car noticeably slowed down. Her eyes darted to the dials on the dashboard and immediately back to the road in front of them with a frown.

"Yeah but this one's the best" He grinned.

"Can't believe I'm wasting a night off driving through the desert" She muttered under her breath with a shake of her head.

"It will be worth it - I promise"

Greg reached across the centre console and squeezed her leg gently as a gesture of reassurance. She met his eye for a second, a small smile crossing her lips before she shook it off with an eye roll and turned her gaze back to the blackness in front of them. The vehicle began to shudder slightly, forcing another frown to cross Sara's features as she exchanged a nervous sideways glance with him.

"What's wrong?" Greg muttered, sensing her stress levels increasing.

"I... I'm not sure" She stumbled, pumping the accelerator slightly.

The little red light in the corner caught her eye as they slowed to a stop and she pressed her head against the steering wheel with a frustrated groan.

"Gas... I forgot to fill the tank" She confessed.

"Oh" Greg paused a few moments the silence unnerving Sara more than she had expected it too. "These things happen" He shrugged, noticing the time on the dash silently noting they were going to lose their reservation but not wanting to upset Sara.

"I'm sorry" She muttered, barely being able to meet his eye.

"It's okay" His voice didn't give away anger but Sara could feel it brewing.

"I'll go and see if I can find some network coverage..." Sara said nervously, climbing out of the car; Greg stayed in his seat watching as she strolled away. A part of him wanted to follow her but he could sense that she wanted to be alone.

He leant back in his seat watching as her shadowy figured hovered by the edge of the road slowly becoming smaller as she kept walking, her arms wrapped around herself. Finding the packet of cigarettes he knew she kept in the glove box Greg climbed out of the car locking the doors as he chased Sara.

"Hey wait up" He called out but she kept walking, her head down focused on the ground passing her by.

"Anyone would think you were ignoring me" Greg grinned as he caught up with her. Sara glanced shyly up at him, pulling her coat tighter around herself.

"Oh...Sorry I didn't hear you" It was a lie she had done, but realised that she didn't want to be there when all of his frustrations surfaced and the anger that he was hiding appeared.

"It's okay..." He offered her a cigarette but she shook her head.

"...Someone should probably stay with the car" She paused, her steps freezing as she looked up wide eyed at Greg. The air around them seemed to still as he tried to look for the subtext- what she really was saying.

"You're right..." Greg placed a gentle kiss on her cheek, Sara's body flinching at the contact as she tried to act calm.

"Sorry" She looked away, an unreadable emotion glazing over her eyes.

"Stop apologising...its okay" Greg smiled at her trying not to notice the evident anxiety that Sara was displaying. With one quick glance he turned back to the car, a lump building up in his throat as he thought about the things Sara was expecting of him.

It dawned on him that they were still on a learning curb; that they were still learning to be together again. Greg knew that they would never fully get past the things he had done, even though the bruises had faded the mark would remain in their memory. He wanted more than anything to prove to Sara that he was different now- that he would always remember the man he'd been to make sure he never became him again.

The only thing that mattered was her and he was going to do everything he could to make her happy.

Greg had been struggling with finding the right words to tell her, silence always overwhelming him as he would find himself not wanting to ruin their time together by mentioning the past. But it felt as if the ghost of what had happened remained with them.

Sara looked back watching as Greg's form became even smaller in the distance, pulling her phone into her hand she scrolled the numbers realising that she had no idea who to call. Brass's name appeared in bold letters in front of her and without wanting to over think Sara pressed the green button on her keypad.

"Detective Brass" His gruff voice resounded in her ears as Sara nervously shifted on her feet.

"Hi...it's Sara..." She stated.

"What can I do for you?" He asked the sound of people in the background indicating that he was still at work.

"Oh...Sorry for calling...it's...it's nothing" She looked back towards the car- not knowing if she should have called him.

"Sara" The sound of Brass's voice indicating he knew there was something wrong.

"Uhm...Greg and I were on our way to dinner...but I forgot to fill up the gas and the car's stopped off Boulder Highway" She took a deep breath. "It...It was a stupid mistake"

"I'll be right there" He assured her.

"It's okay...if you're busy I understand"

"I said I'd be there Sara...You want me to stay on the phone?" Brass asked sensing her apprehension.

"No...No it's okay..." She gave a small smile, glad to know she hadn't completely burnt her bridges with the Detective by letting Greg back into her life.

Sara made the walk back to the car taking a deep breath of night air, it suddenly striking her how beautiful it was out here. The stars above them were bright, studding the dark skies as the moon shone over the city. The dust scuffed up by her feet shimmering in the pale light. As she approached the car she couldn't help but frown. Greg was leaning against the hood, two plates placed carefully on it along side two plastic cups. He was wearing a small smile as waited for her to be within earshot.

"What's this?" She asked indicating to the things he had set out.

"It was the best I could do..." He shrugged with an apologetic smile. "There was some stuff from the picnic we had the other day..."

"Greg...you didn't have to do this...Brass is on his way..." Sara moved closer to him, feeling slightly more comfortable in his company.

"I wanted to...would you like half a Mars bar?" He said with a grin.

"I would love a half a Mars bar" She smiled leaning against the car beside him. They ate their half chocolate bars in silence their eyes meets as the sticky caramel settled on their tongues. Sara took a sip of the lemonade he had poured for them.

"Sorry...it's a bit flat..." Sara quirked her eyebrows at him "Okay...a lot flat"

"It's fine...I liked it" She indicated to the plates and cups Greg had gathered together in his hands.

"I'm glad" he smiled wrapping them in a plastic bag, moving around the car to put them in the boot, hoping he would remember they were there.

He stood beside Sara again, watching the skies they spread out before them, stretching towards the mountains in the distance, the occasional car passing them by. Without a word she reached out her hand, gently brushing it against Greg's. He turned to look at her, with a small nod seeing the apologetic glance she was sending his way.

"Kiss me" Sara whispered moving closer towards him. He nervously met her eye, before leaning in, placing his lips on hers. She kissed him slowly noting that this meant more than it had done before, that they were taking a step they hadn't realised they were going to take.

They had been sleeping in separate beds, living as friends, still learning things about each other, dating as if this was the start. The kisses they had shared were only moments, they were not lasting. But Sara knew that she wanted this to be different.

She took his hand in hers, her cold fingertips pressed against his palm, her silence speaking a thousand things as she led him. She opened the door to the back seat nervously looking to him for a reaction; Greg had never been so caught off guard- his eyes wide as it sunk in what was happening.

"Are you sure?" He muttered as she pulled him towards her.

"Yes" Sara nodded kissing him again.

They climbed into the back seat, sharing kisses as they slowly undressed, the nerves surprising them both as they settled into the situation. Greg's gently caressed Sara's skin not going anyway they hadn't been invited waiting for a signal. She leant back, her hand tugging at his wrist pulling him down on top of her, their legs tangled together as they locked in a passionate embrace.

"Now Greg" The words came out in a hoarse whisper as she curled her fingers around his shoulders, carefully meeting his eye. Greg lowered himself, entering her as slowly as he could, his whole body left reeling from the sensation.

They stilled for a moment, drinking in the details as it dawned on them that they couldn't go back now, they'd taken a leap of faith tonight.

Greg moved slowly over her, his body pressed against hers, the tightness of the fit overwhelming him as he placed a small kiss on Sara's lips. Her long legs wound around him as she slowly rocked her hips against his in hurry to end to their entanglement.

It had been so long since she'd felt this close to Greg, it had been so long since she had been wrapped up in his arms like this. And as their eyes met in the almost darkness she knew that this meant as much to him.

Her muscles tightened as she felt herself giving into the feelings overwhelming her, a soft groan escaping her lips as the sensations of release washed over her. He let himself feel the same elation as he spilt himself inside her.

After a few long moments they moved apart, becoming two separate entities once again, the night lingering in the spaces between them.

"Here" Greg smiled as he handed Sara her other shoe.

"I...didn't expect...our first time to...be like this" She said with a small shrug as she buttoned up her shirt.

"Neither did I..." He agreed with a dazed smile.

"...But I'm glad" Sara muttered, gently stroking his hand.

A knock at the window surprised them a little but as Sara looked to see Brass standing awkwardly she opened the door climbing out onto the road. Once they had filled the car up, Sara drove them back to the city, the warmth of their home greeting them.

"Goodnight..." Greg said placing a kiss on Sara's cheek as he turned towards his room. She caught his hand before he could, pulling him into her room with a wicked smile.

"Remind me what it's like to stay up all night." Sara whispered to Greg, pressing the door closed behind them.


	10. Chapter 10

And another story comes to an end. I hope you've all enjoyed reading this and that you like the ending- please review- let me know.

**I know the issues this story raised are experienced by more women than it appears on the surface and even though this ends happily, it's a story, a dramatisation, for a lot of people it's not the way that things go. Violence whether physical or psychological is never okay, and if you know someone who is in this position then please urge them to talk to someone, and support them in making a change that would no doubt will be difficult. Below I've listed two domestic violence charities that do a great deal in supporting women in/leaving/and have been in abusive relationships. If you could spare a few moments to read about them and perhaps even donate it would be wonderful:**

**- Refuge: .uk**

**- Women's Aid: .uk**

**Walking on Ashes**

**(One Year Later)**

**(Epilogue)**

The night seemed to stretch out above them for miles on end as they walked through the Vegas streets, their fingers tangled together as they refused to let go of each other. Neon lights surrounded them as the night refused to slow the city down, everything coming to life against the dark.

Greg led Sara up the narrow stairwell to the restaurant floor, his hand on the small of her back, the silky fabric of her dress beneath his palm. A shiver of anticipation ran through his spine as he realised that tonight was it- everything would either fall into place or fall apart.

Music played softly in the background, the piano notes floating through the space as they were led to their table. The very same table they had been at a year earlier, the small card read 'Sanders' in the same font, there were still lilies on the table display.

A lot of things that changed in that year, everything had seemed to be back on track, and it was as if they had never been apart. All of the love they had once had for each other settling back in their lives as if it had never been gone. The scars had faded and everything was how it always should have been.

Sara turned to look at him with a quirk of her eyebrow, as she tried to gauge what was happening as Greg took her hand. With nothing but a smile he got down on one knee waiting for Sara to respond but she didn't say anything watching him in surprise.

"Sara I know things haven't always been easy for us...and a lot of that has been my fault. But I want you to know that I never want to let you down again...Please give me the chance to prove it to you for the rest of our lives" He fished out the small velvet box from the inside of his jacket, opening it and turning it to show Sara the sparkling ring.

Her mouth made an 'oh' shape as she looked into his eyes, it suddenly striking her that she didn't have time to think about this. She needed to answer. It was impulse.

Greg had done so well and it seemed to all of sudden sink in that she wanted to marry him, to be married to him. Sara leant down kissing him softly, brushing a hand across his cheek with a smile.

"Yes" She whispered to him.

"Yes?" Greg seemed slightly surprised as he looked into her eyes.

"Yes" Sara repeated realising that she had never been surer of anything else before. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with Greg, through all of the good and bad times.

More than anything Sara knew that always wanted Greg to be there no matter what.

**The End **


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